Happy Healthy You by KJ Landis
Author:KJ Landis [Landis, KJ]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633536241
Publisher: Mango Media
Published: 2017-08-07T16:00:00+00:00
Davey and Donâs Story: feeling abandoned and acting out
Two brothers, Davey and Don, lost their parents in an automobile accident when the children were eleven and thirteen. Davey was the older sibling. The kids were placed in a foster home together. The new foster parents were upbeat and positive in their outlook on life. They didnât believe in living in the past, however, so they didnât take the boys to grief therapy or counseling to deal with their loss. They werenât very religious either, so they didnât have a spiritual leader to turn to for the transitions and the boysâ coping techniques. They did, however, take them on trips to see the world and learn about other cultures. The foster parents felt like this was a way to regain connectedness to others, and to see the value of the wide, wonderful world around them.
Just a year or so later, Davey and Don began partying after school with friends. They began getting high and sneaking alcohol. Their grades suffered the effects. They were trying to show the foster parents that they were independent and could do grown up things, like drinking and getting high. They desired attention, but couldnât say so out loud. They felt like their feelings were dismissed by the foster parents at the initial time of their grief. This was their way of kind of punishing the foster parents. They liked them because they were young and hip, but parenting boundaries and tough love were very much needed.
During the school year, several counselors and school psychologists in their middle and high school held interventions with the kids and their foster parents. They wanted to facilitate some movement with the unattended grief and repair the relationships between the boys and their new family before they were irreparable. Finding a new foster family would be nearly impossible.
Davey and Don did not intentionally make others suffer with their actions, but âsufferingâ was what everybody at this point was feeling. The boys didnât want to feel alone in their grief. The boys felt like they were drowning in their despair, and they believed that every adult they knew and loved would leave them at some point. They were mad that their parents had left them, even though it was not their parentsâ fault. They were grieving the lost relationship. They grieved the relationship they wished they had to build upon.
The counselors focused on what the boysâ interests were, like painting and writing music. They used these arts to help the new family unit get their emotions out, so the self destructive behavior had a chance to possibly cease. The sessions had the whole family painting, writing lyrics, talking, shouting, singing, and crying together. When anger was shown, it was in a safe place. They were told to regularly make a bonfire in the backyard, to burn up the paintings and music they no longer wanted to keep; that is, the feelings they no longer harbored towards the world.
After several cathartic bonfires, Davey and Don were able to begin anew with the foster parents.
Download
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.
Happiness by Matthieu Ricard(2879)
Getting Things Done by David Allen(2586)
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie(2567)
The Chimp Paradox by Peters Dr Steve(2220)
What I Need by J. Daniels(1965)
The Empath's Survival Guide by Judith Orloff(1946)
The Finnish Way by Katja Pantzar(1803)
The Smartest Kids in the World by Amanda Ripley(1681)
Jealousy by Osho(1637)
Everything in Its Place by Dan Charnas(1628)
The Joy of Hygge by Jonny Jackson(1613)
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work by Richard Carlson(1478)
Free Yourself from Fears by Joseph O'Connor(1469)
How to Build Self-Discipline to Exercise by Martin Meadows(1446)
Who Moved My Cheese?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change in Your Work and in Your Life by Johnson Spencer(1416)
Think Happy to Stay Happy by Becca Anderson(1408)
Coping with Anxiety by Edmund Bourne & Lorna Garano(1373)
The Secret History of Freemasonry by Paul Naudon(1354)
Shook One by Charlamagne Tha God(1353)
